Avengers #39 (2014)

Cover:

…three out of the five those characters aren’t even fighting on the same side.

Plot:

S.H.I.E.L.D. Avengers have found where the Illuminati are hiding out… or so they think, since it’s a trap! *GASP*

Writing:

Dramatic monologue, fight, monologue some more, Hulk smash robots, “epic and pretentious” prose, fight, grandiose prose, Barbie doll fighting, etc.

Our Heroes:

I wonder where they are?  I haven’t seen any heroes in a long time.

Our Villains:

Pretty much everyone at this point since they are all jackasses in different ways.

Our Side Characters:

Oh hey look, people at the very end.

Action:

Hulk knows how to deliver an uppercut.

Dialogue:

*Snoring*

Art:

Carol Danvers: Wearer of Tight Clothing and Provider of Fanservice

Most Memorable Moment:

OH DEAR GOD!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR SPINE?!

Final Page:

Yes, please stand down if it means everyone will stop acting like a dick.

What We Should Take from This Comic:

If the S.H.I.E.L.D. Avengers and Illumanti keep fighting each other and not work together, the world will be lost and a third team needs to step in to make them wake up.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

For the love of god Mr. Fantastic, will you stop talking over the damn fight scene!  You are boring everyone to tears!

Yay or Nay?

NAY

Hulk #9 (2014)

Cover:

That cover is a lie.  There’s no Kitty VS. Hulk action!  BOO!  0 out of 10!

Plot:

Doc Green gets some brain surgery Kitty Pryde style.  Also, he finally has a nap.

Writing:

*Checks watch* I wonder when things will get going?

Our Hero:

Currently unavailable until the evil smart version of him is gone.

Our Villain:

And there you have it, all debates and arguments about whether he is good or misguide are completely gone.

Our Side Characters:

Oh yeah, you people are still around aren’t you?

Action:

Here, have a dream sequence for you all!

Dialogue:

I’m less afraid of him having a briefcase and more afraid of him doing a dead-on impression of Jack from The Shining.

Art:

I think she phased a jellybean out of his head.

Most Memorable Moment:

The guy has gone super villain on us!

Final Page:

GAH!  Where are his eyes?!

What We Should Take from This Comic:

Doc Green will do whatever it takes to make sure he keeps control, thus putting into villain territory and someone to fear.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

Oh hey Maestro.

Yay or Nay?

Meh.

All-New Ghost Rider #4 (2014)

Cover:

Man, that Vizard is really going to town on that man who is in desperate need of a dentist.

Plot:

Robbie Reyes/Ghost Rider goes up against Grumpy all roided up now because of the pink pills.  Despite his new increase in strength, Robbie may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Writing:

Well that just sort of ended…

Our Hero:

That certainly looked like it hurt.

Our Villains:

With a guy that huge and out in the open, you think more people would have noticed him.

Our Side Characters:

So… none of these people notice that kid’s scars then?

Action:

To be honest, I don’t think strangling the guy was going to do anything anyways.

Dialogue:

To more I see and hear from Valdez, the more I want Robbie to go all Ghost Rider on his ass.

Art:

Everything seems to be emitting this weird orange stuff off of them.

Most Memorable Moment:

You know, I gotta wonder… how the hell did he fit inside of that building?

Final Page:

Double page spread for everyone! Yay!

What We Should Take from This Comic:

With the amount of insanity and power struggles going on, Hillrock Heights may actually burn to the ground if Ghost Rider doesn’t do something quick.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

Abusing drugs also have the unfortunate side effect of causing one to grow two extra arms.

Yay or Nay?

yay