Avengers #39 (2014)

Cover:

…three out of the five those characters aren’t even fighting on the same side.

Plot:

S.H.I.E.L.D. Avengers have found where the Illuminati are hiding out… or so they think, since it’s a trap! *GASP*

Writing:

Dramatic monologue, fight, monologue some more, Hulk smash robots, “epic and pretentious” prose, fight, grandiose prose, Barbie doll fighting, etc.

Our Heroes:

I wonder where they are?  I haven’t seen any heroes in a long time.

Our Villains:

Pretty much everyone at this point since they are all jackasses in different ways.

Our Side Characters:

Oh hey look, people at the very end.

Action:

Hulk knows how to deliver an uppercut.

Dialogue:

*Snoring*

Art:

Carol Danvers: Wearer of Tight Clothing and Provider of Fanservice

Most Memorable Moment:

OH DEAR GOD!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR SPINE?!

Final Page:

Yes, please stand down if it means everyone will stop acting like a dick.

What We Should Take from This Comic:

If the S.H.I.E.L.D. Avengers and Illumanti keep fighting each other and not work together, the world will be lost and a third team needs to step in to make them wake up.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

For the love of god Mr. Fantastic, will you stop talking over the damn fight scene!  You are boring everyone to tears!

Yay or Nay?

NAY

Avengers #11 (2013)

Cover:

 

Cliché and stereotype anime and Japanese garb that makes no sense in the context of this comic.

 

Plot:

 

Several members of the Avengers are heading to a location where A.I.M. is trying to sell the prototype to one of their bioweapons.  They must find the sellers, the weapon, and all the potential buyers to put an end to this.

 

Our Heroes:

 

… This comic is making Black Widow seem like a sociopath.  I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing.

 

Our Villains:

 

I still do not get how the hell A.I.M. got their own island to be considered its own nation by the United Nations.  How stupid are people these days?!

 

Our Side Characters:

 

I don’t know why I should care about any of them if they have no personality.

 

Action:

 

Man, these Avengers just straight up murdered some people.  Our heroes are the best!

 

Dialogue:

 

Standard average dialogue.  Nothing more and nothing less.

 

Art:

 

Martial artists can bend their spines like that, right?

 

Most Memorable Moment:

 

*Reviewer bursts into laughter* Oh dear god, A.I.M.?  Are you guys seriously with ridiculous beekeeper helmet and tuxedo combo?

 

Final Page:

 

Avengers… you all suck at your job and as such, you’re all fired except for him.

 

What We Should Take from This Comic:

 

So A.I.M. is trying to sell an army of assassins to different groups, but for some unknown reason.  Again, why?

 

What We Do Take From This Comic:

 

Dammit Black Widow, how the hell did you become an Avengers with that screw the mission and kill them all attitude?  You suck.

 

Yay or Nay?

 

Mmmmmeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh….

Avengers #10 (2013)

Cover:

 

Generic movie poster cover for the win?

 

Plot:

 

The Avengers are called in to check one of the sites where an origin bomb crashed in Canada and see what had fallen a team that was sent there, Omega Flight.  There, they run into some interesting problems.

 

Our Heroes:

 

They just stumble around and… something is accomplished?

 

Our Villain:

 

Plant life?  I can’t tell.

 

Our Side Characters:

 

I don’t know why I should care about any of them if they have no personality.

 

Action:

 

Bang!  Headshot.

 

Dialogue:

 

Dude, don’t fly away.  If you leave the group, you’ll probably die!  Remember, black dude always dies first.

 

Art:

 

It exists and it is there.  So what?

 

Most Memorable Moment:

Damn it!  Robot dude just got punked by those vines from Troll 3!

 

Final Page:

 

Dun dun dunnn…. Aww who gives a crap.

 

What We Should Take from This Comic:

 

The Avengers checked a zone out and gaining absolutely nothing but confusion.  Nothing learned and nothing lost.

 

What We Do Take From This Comic:

 

Since nothing has been gained or lost, why does this issue exist and what purpose does it hold?

 

Yay or Nay?

 

NAY!!!!

Avengers #8 (2013)

Cover:

Huh, I thought I saw a similar looking tattoo in Grimm.

Plot:

The Avengers come across Kevin Conner, who apparently is a living weapon that has accidentally activated and killed everyone within a mile.  However, they do not help the matter...

Our Heroes:

Man you guys are not good at handling this problem.

Our Villain:

I dunno.  I’m still shaky on who is bad and good in this comic.

Our Side Characters:

And Captain Marvel remains the best character on this team, no matter what comic she is in.

Action:

Who needs a missile when you have a Hulk?

Dialogue:

*Facepalm* Will someone shove a sock in Captain Universe’s mouth?!  She’s only making things worse or more irritating!

Art:

Why do I get the feeling the art changed half way through?

Most Memorable Moment:

Hulk bomb!

Final Page:

It’s staring into my soul.

What We Should Take from This Comic:

Well Kevin Conner is now Starbrand and everything he has done is to be swept under the rug and forgotten since it is important despite the high causality rate.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

Why do I get the feeling we are just going around in circles with this comic?

Yay or Nay?

Meh

Avengers #7 (2013)

Cover:

Oh hey, it’s a movie poster.

Plot:

White event is coming.  Did I mention that?  White Event is coming.  Don’t forget it: White Event!

Our Heroes:

Thank you for showing up 9 pages into this comic.

Our Villain:

I’m just going to assume it’s this White Event.

Our Side Characters:

Spider-Man is right.  These people are irritating.

Action:

Screw your action!  Have some more White Event.

Dialogue:

Take a shot every time someone repeats themselves in this comic; especially: White Event.

Art:

So, this comic had moments of Where’s Waldo in it?

Most Memorable Moment:

It’s purple.  Not white you idiots.

Final Page:

Wait what?!  It just ends?!

What We Should Take from This Comic:

White Event is coming.  Don’t you forget it.  Also, there is some college kid that could be useful in stopping it or making things worst.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

White Event.

Yay or Nay?

NAY!!!