Bitch Planet #1 (2014)

Cover:

Well that’s rude!  The comic is giving me double middle finger at me!

Plot:

Welcome to Bitch Planet!  This is where all female criminals go!  Shenanigans will ensue here.

Writing:

Grindhouse + Religious Symbolism + Blacksploitation + Commentary on Prison Systems = Deep & Complex

Our Hero:

It’s Misty Lee!

Our Villain:

Err…religion?  Government?  I dunno.

Our Side Characters:

I guess… I guess these people count as “characters” in looses sense of the word.

Action:

Lots of people getting beaten up by clubs!

Dialogue:

It’s dialogue!  That’s all I remember about it.

Art:

If Michael Walsh & David Aja’s artwork had a baby, this would be it.

Most Memorable Moment:

Huh, a pink dominatrix hologram with a nun’s habit and a corset asking for a woman to confess her sins.  Ever get the feeling this comic is weird?

Final Page:

When people die, the colors they turn black & white & gray like an old film strip.

What We Should Take from This Comic:

Religion & government are bad or make for sucky combination?  I don’t know, you tell me people.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

The future sucks just like every single future depiction in media.

Yay or Nay?

Mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……….

Captain Marvel #11 (2013)

Cover:

Is she running over the roof tops or is she leaps up and down.  Either way, I can’ tell.

Plot:

After a disastrous fight with Deathbird and realizing how dangerous her brain lesion can be, Captain Marvel is grounded and needs to figure out what to do next.

Our Hero:

She’s had better days than this.

Our Villain:

His power is to control birds… from what I gathered.

Our Side Characters:

You think the little girl would not better not to dress up as the villain that messed with Carol.

Action:

Flying motorcycle to the back!

Dialogue:

Carol does not understand your science talk doctor.

Art:

I think Captain Marvel needs to lift some weights.  Her arms look dangerously skinny at points.

Most Memorable Moment:

She can leap tall buildings with a single bound!

Final Page:

So the bird feeders are all in on it?

What We Should Take from This Comic:

Captain Marvel has tracked down the “Newbird” and is ready to get some answers.  Meanwhile, a mysterious man who has the Deathbird working for him watches from below.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

Oh come on Carol, flying motorcycles are awesome

Yay or Nay?

Yay

Avengers Assemble #13 (2013)

Cover:

HHHHIIIIISSSS!

Plot:

Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Spider-Woman are in search of the missing daughter of a scientist Widow killed many years ago.  However, in their search, they stumble across her and all bunch of lizard people.  What to do?

Our Heroes:

She’s turned into a hybrid of Killer Croc and the Lizard!

Our Villain:

I suppose… she’s not that villainous.

Our Side Characters:

Man, he’s going to have a headache after all of these hits he took to the head.

Action:

So much for blow limbs off.

Dialogue:

I say good taste in partners Black Widow.

Art:

Oh sure, she keeps to keep her hair when she transforms.

Most Memorable Moment:

See what I said about the main characters.

Final Page:

Aww, but the dog cares about you.

What We Should Take from This Comic:

So after all of this recent mission involving lizard people, there still remains 8 markers out there and Hawkeye is apparently one of them.

What We Do Take From This Comic:

So when reverting back to human form, your hair also grows rapidly back to its original length?

Yay or Nay?

Yay